I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
