i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
