I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
