it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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