sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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