you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm at about main and main street
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize