Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize