beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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