I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
