bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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