I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
