Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
