after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize