She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
