AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
