We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
