note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You need Xanax blowdarts
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
