im about as happy as oj after his trial
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
