I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Randomize
