wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize