I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
