Can Purell be used as lube?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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