Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
