Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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