the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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