i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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