remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
