drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
