You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
