yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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