maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
