He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
