She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
two words: eviction party
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize
