Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
