where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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