There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
