Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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