Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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