6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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