i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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