i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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