Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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