Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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