The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
