i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
