So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
