they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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