Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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