so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
