dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
