Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
