I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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