i barfeds in our rink
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
