Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
