we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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