but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
