At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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