we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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