Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he thought i was a dude.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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