and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize