Apparently you make a good broom.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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