Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
