Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This house was built for laser tag.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'd cum for enchiladas.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Congratulations! We have a period
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