So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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