In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
