i barfeds in our rink
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
