saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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