**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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