lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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