I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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