3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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