Your tits are I can't wait for
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize