i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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