so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
